Lisa Hayes:
A few weeks ago, I wrote about our family’s Circle — the plan we have for reconnecting now that our state is opening up. Many people have asked how it’s been going, and the answer is — mostly fine. We didn’t assume it would be problem-free, and we’ve learned that what we thought would be the toughest parts are, in fact, the toughest parts. To me, that means it was a smart exercise to really think it through ahead of time and prepare ourselves for a little bit of stress. I’ll take that little bit of stress over the stress of not having a plan any day.
Here’s where it’s been tricky: People feeling awkward speaking up, and people feeling unwilling to truly commit to full caution in the moments when they want things to “be normal again.”
For example, my girls were at their dad’s house, and their grandparents — his parents — stopped by. Those grandparents don’t practice distancing, wearing masks, or increased hygiene, and they’ve been having a number of social interactions both in Florida and Michigan without using precautionary measures. Despite one of my kids saying she wasn’t going to fall into risky habits (she put on her mask and stayed six feet away), everyone else in the household (guiltily and awkwardly) allowed the grandparents to take over. Jack and I found out about this from the kids, after we’d already been with them for a few days — so we were all exposed to an unknown factor. We reached out to the other members of our Circle (whom we had not seen since before the exposure) to let them know we wouldn’t be getting together again until 14 days had passed or we had a negative test.
We’re also seeing incidents where Circle members want to “better enjoy” the moment. We all know our overall risk is low, so it’s tempting to give in to a happy hug or to leave the mask off during an encounter. It takes a lot of conscious choice-making in the moment, along with preparing ourselves prior to venturing out, to ensure we don’t break our Circle’s rules.
After being isolated for so long, these opportunities to connect with others are incredibly tempting for all of us, and we know we may not be perfect all the time. But as committed Circle members who truly love and care for one another, the best thing we can do is protect each other. This won’t last forever. The ramifications from getting and passing on Covid-19 just may.
Our takeaway after our first few weeks is that in order to keep our commitments to our Circle family, we have to all become more confident standing our ground. That means we’re role-playing what to say in those high-stress situations, we’re practicing extreme caution while out so we contribute to the “new normal,” and we’re staying informed so that we don’t become complacent.