What language can we give our kids to help them navigate those pressured situations when family and friends aren’t following the same rules? My kids are strong and smart, but I can’t help worrying about peer pressure once everyone is back to school.
Chris Kemp, M.S.:
I agree. It's difficult and I'm not sure there's an easy answer. Humans (especially children) are inherently social. This is what allowed the pandemic to develop in the first place. I think we need to keep encouraging our kids to be smart and thoughtful and to be the leaders in their communities by making good choices.
Alison Bernstein, Ph.D.:
This page from UAB has some specific recommendations about talking to kids about masks: https://www.uab.edu/news/youcanuse/item/11321-tips-for-children-wearing-masks-during-a-pandemic
About preparing your child to wear masks in public, they write:
Before heading out in public, it is important to practice wearing the mask at home before you actually need to wear it. According to Smith, this will help the child get used to wearing the mask and learn how to wear it properly. A child may find covering their mouth and hiding part of their face very frightening, so caretakers may have to explain it a few times.
“Be OK with repetitive questions, and give them time to adjust,” Smith said. “Give them a mask to play with, as it may help decrease their fears.”
This Urgent Cares page provides language as well:
https://www.lifespan.org/lifespan-living/wearing-face-masks-and-how-explain-it-kids
The mask is a way to help stop the spread of the coronavirus. Everyone is being asked to take steps to prevent spreading the virus from person to person. Physically distancing is one way to accomplish this, which means maintaining six feet of distance from others. We are all becoming aware of how stores are marking the floor/ground to help remind us and ensure appropriate physical distance. However, when you are in public places it may not be possible to keep that far apart from others. You may pass closely or interact with others in grocery stores, at gas stations, or in the park. In those cases, it makes sense to have a mask on, as well as do your best to physically distance.
Unfortunately I am not seeing anything about dealing with the peer pressure piece of this. But in my experience as a parent, I can offer some thoughts. For my kids, we will be tying this into some of our important Jewish values, like showing kindness to others, protecting people who are more vulnerable than you, and working to make your world better. We will also frame this as part of our responsibility within our community. I don’t know if masks will be required; I don’t know what compliance will look like in school even if it is mandatory. All I can do is work with my kids so they know why WE wear masks and be clear in our expectations that they wear them. We will also talk to them about what do about friends who don’t wear masks and have them practice these conversations, so they are using their own words.
We have shared some resources on SciMoms about talking to kids about the pandemic in general:
https://scimoms.com/coping-with-coronavirus/
Remember that our kids can hear us talking about the pandemic, and they notice our behavior, including how their caregiver is stressed and glued to the news on their phone.
Be careful about how you talk about COVID-19 in front of your kids. Explain social distancing in an age-appropriate manner.
Help your kids focus on the positive. For example, encourage kids to think about what they are grateful for each day.
Establish and maintain a daily routine. This will look different for every family but maintaining a schedule and some semblance of normalcy can be important for kids. SciMom Alison has found this to be key for her own well-being and her kids, especially her 6 year old son. Her schedule isn’t very detailed but it helps her and her husband get some work done and not hear the dreaded “I’m bored.” “It’s to the point now, where if we don’t follow the schedule, my son gets frustrated that he isn’t doing all his activities. He is keeping us on task!”
Identify projects that children can focus on, especially things that help others. For example, decorating your front windows or chalking your sidewalk with a friendly message can be a fun distraction and spread (and receive) good cheer.
As always, it is important to model positive behavior for our kids and offer lots of love, affection, and comfort. We find that these things also happen to help us feel better too. SciMom Anastasia says that taking time for extra cuddles has been really important: “my daughter, spouse, and I are all craving extra connection right now.”
Here’s a good resource from the AAP on parenting in a pandemic: https://www.healthychildren.org/English/health-issues/conditions/COVID-19/Pages/Parenting-in-a-Pandemic.aspx
